Beef Stew, Dead Grandpas, and Internet Trickery

>> Thursday, January 15, 2009

1. beef stew
2. Candy Cane Joe-Joe's

Today I had this raw meat turned into a beef stew. For some reason or other I don't think I've ever actually made stew, which made me a little sad when I realized it, cause I love stew! Know why? My Pap-paw used to make stew. (And barbecued chicken, but that's for another day.) In the winter time cause he was a farmer and farmers work HARD during the spring and summer. But in the winter time? He'd hang out. And sometimes, sometimes he'd cook. He'd make up a big pot and then he and Mam-maw would can it so in the summer time, when he was in the fields until after dark, we'd still have stew. Cause it was so delicious you'd want to eat it all year 'round. He's long gone and I have no idea really what his recipe was and seriously, it's been years. Decades even. One thing I'm certain of is that it had corn so I added some in and pretended while I was eating that it tasted just like his and I double dog dare anyone to disagree. Talkin' to you Mom.

In other news we finally cracked open the last box of Candy Cane Joe-Joe's. Man do I love those things. Since I'm here I might as well tell you the Christmas horror story that nearly ended our love affair. See I kept seeing this recipe for "Oreo Truffles" on some of my favorite food blogs. Now admittedly I was skeptical. Crushed cookies and cream cheese smooshed together and dipped in melted chocolate. Just three things? How on earth would that taste like anything except crushed cookies and cream cheese smooshed together and dipped in melted chocolate? Well to hear folks tell it tasted somewhere inbetween angel tears and drunken sex with a stranger. Or something like that. Of course if I made them with Candy Cane Joe-Joe's....well, I just don't have the words. So.

I assembled the goods.

But hey! Why stop there? Go big or go home right? So multiply that times three. I take some to work! Send some to work with Him! Give them to the neighbors! Pass them out to carolers. Not that we have carolers. But anyway. Oh! I have a G R E A T idea. Those yummy mocha cookies from Fresh & Easy? I'll make some with those! Only with DARK chocolate. So I assembled more goods.

Times three.

Big plans I tell you, big plans! Of course I needed something to PUT them in. You know, to give away to all my family and friends and carolers and random passersby. Hmmmm. Wal-mart. Yep. Wal-mart. I went to Wal-mart the week before Christmas. WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO. Sorry, didn't mean to yell. Saw some little treat bags that weren't that cute but the coordinating gift tags? Bloomin' awesome. Ooooooh! Only 3 for a dollar too? I bought 30.

Times three.

The Boo and I finally got down to business and started making these little balls of cookie love. We crushed. We smooshed. We scooped. We rolled. We dipped. We sprinkled. And we repeated.

Times three.

Oh and we tasted along the way, but not too much. Cause ... they really didn't taste all that good. Of course they were too fresh. They needed time to ripen, to bloom, to reach their full cookie drunken love ball potential. So. We soldiered on. And eventually we ended up with at least a hundred little "truffles" (times three of course) and man were they gorgeous. Here's a money shot.

See? Aren't they beautiful? Yes. They were. And the taste? Like crushed cookies smooshed together with cream cheese and dipped in chocolate. In a word? Yuck.

Times three.

Internet? You let me down. I b e l i e v e d! My hands are BRUISED from clapping so hard. Symbolically, of course. But still! I won't even get into how this whole thing jeopardized the beautiful relationship between me and mah cookies. And I couldn't even off load them on all those non-existent carolers cause the damn things were too soft and gooey to pack in the little treat bags that I risked limb and sanity to buy. I took a platter of the stupid goo balls to work every day that week and sent several plates full home with Boy's unsuspecting friends but I just couldn't get rid of them all. Still have extraneous quantities of cream cheese and dark chocolate. Not to mention my beer fridge is still harboring a dozen of the damn things.

Times three.


Kari January 16, 2009 at 12:47 AM  

You know, I had noticed that Oreo + Cream Cheese + Chocolate recipe, too. And I had wondered. I'm really sad they didn't turn out. At least they were pretty, though... :(

Angel January 16, 2009 at 2:05 AM  

hmmm oreo and cream cheese smooshed together sound tasty to me. But in spite of your sad circumstances at least they were beautiful on the outside.

Lunch Bucket's Mom January 16, 2009 at 6:52 AM  

You are right, Pap-Paw's stew definitely had corn in it and it definitely was good:)and man oh man--the bbq chicken!!!!

Yvo January 16, 2009 at 8:42 AM  

I'm sad we must run in different internets circles because I hadn't seen any of that. I wouldn't have tried to make them though because I don't really do candy things... but you're a Daring Baker too so you got guts. IMO anyway. I am giggling at your beer fridge though and sorry you don't like them. You can mail me some if you think they'll survive? :X
BTW, I made beef stew recently and I love corn and I totally should have put some fcking corn in there. Sadface.

Tina January 16, 2009 at 3:31 PM  

Please, oh please for the love of sex with drunken sailors, try them again.

A coworker made some of these (from the same blog) around Christmas, and they were AMAZING! EVERYONE at work loved them (comments were made comparing them to sex acts with Jesus, but we're quite graphic at work), and couldn't stop eating them. He suggested using a mortar & pestle to crush up the oreos, and to make sure you get them really fine.

And for the love of cookies, try making them with regular Oreos before going all crazy on the recipe.

Just saying, don't give up yet. Try one more smaller, "vanilla" batch of them, and make sure you get the Oreos are finely crushed as possible - you really want Oreo powder here.

The Spiteful Chef January 16, 2009 at 4:13 PM  

But they're so pretty! I hate when things that are pretty end up being bad. Like Angelina Jolie. Homewrecking whore that she is.

Julie January 16, 2009 at 9:07 PM  

I had no idea you could can stew.
Drunken sex with a that supposed to be a good thing? I know, I'm horribly naive for someone my advanced age.

Julie January 16, 2009 at 9:07 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
abigail @ Piece of Cake January 17, 2009 at 4:38 PM  

i am just crushed. that is the last time i believe anything i read on the internet.

The Food Hunter January 18, 2009 at 12:39 AM  

They sure look good. Sorry they didn't taste that good.

Juls January 18, 2009 at 2:14 PM're too hilarious. Sorry the didn't turn out..but they were really pretty.

Juls January 18, 2009 at 2:14 PM  
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Duo Dishes January 23, 2009 at 11:34 AM  

This story just had us in stitches!!! We wish they had turned out better. But at least you learned one thing...can't trust everything you see on the 'net. Yours look just gorge though!!! You should frame 'em. :)

Kate January 29, 2009 at 1:13 PM  

Yeah, I'm with you on this one. I drank the kool-aid and made these as well, and while I didn't hate them, I'd never make them again.

Now, if you think *this* was a let down, did you see the version WITHOUT cream cheese making the rounds, even earlier than the version you saw? Yeah, still three ingredients, 'ceptin you use an entire tub of white, pre-made grocery store white frosting.

Yeah, that's right. Crushed cookies, tubbed frosting, and then dip in chocolate. PURE. FUNK.

The cream cheese version was an UPGRADE, my friend.


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