Won't Get Fooled Again!

>> Thursday, June 25, 2009

First it was this abomination of an appetizer pimped out by the one and only Pioneer Woman with a hearty second from millions of her minions. Could millions of minions be wrong? Seriously P-Dub? Seriously?

Then it was this one from Kate @ Warm Olives ... and Cool Cocktails. Ice Water Crackers. Essentially wet crackers fried in butter. What could go wrong, right? Oh. Right. That.

And now? Now there's this hot mess of a wreck from Sweetnicks in which I take Toffee Crack and turn it into Ass Crack. Using the last of the brown sugar, the last of the good butter, and the last of the chocolate leaving me with saltines topped with butter, brown, sugar and chocolate.



Okay internetz, I'm onto you now. No more Sandra Leeish cracker recipes. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me thrice?

Well, hell. Now I don't give a rat's rear right testicle how super simple and delicious you might claim your cracker thing to be, I. AIN'T. A-FALLIN'. FER. THAT. NO. MORE.

Know what goes on a cracker? Smoked gouda. That's what goes on a cracker. Not canned cheese, not water and least of all not the last of my chocolate!

(PS - you should go see Kate because I pink puffy heart her blog AND she alerted me to TasteStopping : Feasting on seconds! which is seven colors of awesome AND because I didn't really waste anything precious like bacon or chocolate trying to make her recipe.)

13 comments:

tastestopping June 26, 2009 at 3:29 AM  

Thanks so much for the love. We heart Kate, too, as she has not caused us to use up any precious chocolate or bacon either. In fact, she's sent in some pretty awesome rejects!

Hope to hear and see from you soon.

Best,
Casey
Editor
www.tastestopping.wordpress.com

Krebstar5 June 26, 2009 at 6:30 AM  

I am off to Tastestopping now and still giggling over this:

"Well, hell. Now I don't give a rat's rear right testicle how super simple and delicious you might claim your cracker thing to be, I. AIN'T. A-FALLIN'. FER. THAT. NO. MORE."

Would you mind if I linked your blog?

Julie June 26, 2009 at 8:22 AM  

Fried wet crackers. Sign me up!

Cate O'Malley June 26, 2009 at 1:31 PM  

LOL, sorry you didn't like it, although I don't take credit for the original recipe. Just one of those legend type recipes that everyone seems to love and makes the rounds. :) Maybe next time!

Laura June 26, 2009 at 5:18 PM  

the ONLY thing anyone should be putting on a cracker is some cheese, along with a fine bottle of wine.
The end.

Marta June 26, 2009 at 7:26 PM  

Crackers deserve cheese and jam and peanut butter and, on occasion, some sweeter spreads. but this is interesting :)

Angel June 27, 2009 at 1:11 PM  

hmmm Gouda on cracker sounds tasty, although I'm also a fan of Nutella on cinnamon graham crackers. That's a sweet and easy treat with no water on it rofl.

burpandslurp June 28, 2009 at 7:29 PM  

I'm sorry, everytime I eat a cracker I feel like a parrot for some reason. I'll just take that smoked gouda by itself, please. ;-)

Lunch Buckets June 30, 2009 at 12:02 AM  

@tastestopping - I want to submit some stuff just so it can be rejected now!

@Krebstar5 - I probably don't mind, unless it's like a WoW fangirl site or something

@Cate&Julie - I know! It shoulda been good, right?

Laura, Angel, Mara and burp - I'm inviting you all over for cheese. And wine.

Kate July 17, 2009 at 6:19 AM  

I'm cracking up. I won't call you names for saying my crackers sucked, but I have to think something went wrong, because let me tell you, wet crackers baked in Thyme Butter can stand in for a night of good sex in my house. They are all kinds of awesome. Either I'm whacked or I have some special knack. The only thing I can say in my defense is, I thought the bacon appetizers on crackers, by Pioneer Woman, sucked so hard and so long that I actually felt violent. I hate wasting good bacon.

Mimi July 17, 2009 at 1:30 PM  

I really LOLed after while reading this. Too true.

Heather August 30, 2009 at 8:40 AM  

It sounds completely disgusting but at Christmas someone made a chocolate cookie thing that I tried and loved and it turned out to be a Ritz cracker dipped in chocolate. I wouldn't have tried it if I knew what it was ahead of time but it was really good.

Moon October 26, 2009 at 7:24 AM  

Boy, I couldn't agree more.

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