Spiteful Ribs

>> Monday, September 15, 2008



1. ribs
2. macaroni salad
3. red pepper strips
4. strawberries
5. black grape
6. little bit of a cream horn

My friend Julie (The Sporadic Cook) made ribs for Labor Day. I wasn't invited. But that's totally fine. Really. Yeah, anyway, I wanted ribs too, since I wasn't invited and all so I decided to make my own, and not invite anyone named Julie. And I certainly was not going to make them the same way she did. I had to do something different. Out of spite, of course.

At first I wasn't even going to marinate them, but then I changed my mind. I mixed up equal parts of soy sauce, orange juice and vinegar then added half parts of vegetable oil, Worcestershire and pomegranate molasses. I -really- liked the flavor of the marinade. The ribs though? Not so much. See, I had planned to baste them while they cooked and maybe reduce down the rest as a finishing sauce. Sounds great, no? And He wanted to help. Sounds great, no? He put the ribs the on the grill, and then he dumped all that sweet saucy love right down the drain.

I have this really cool thing that I do sometimes to let my beloved know that he has disappointed me. Basically don't talk. Or smile. And I sigh. A lot. It's really terribly effective, you should try it sometime!

So the ribs ended up a little more bland than I hoped. And less saucy. And a more than a little over-cooked. Out of spite, or course. But that's a different story for a different day.

Don't forget to Haiku that Blog! And I am available most evenings if you need any relationship advice.

6 comments:

Mimi September 16, 2008 at 5:09 AM  

I will have to try the excessive sighing... ;o)

Yvo September 16, 2008 at 7:57 AM  

My mouth is too big, I can't keep it shut. He'd have gotten an earful or twenty. I actually gasped out loud in horror when I read this, mouth dropping open.
If it makes you feel ANY better, whatsoever, I made a turkey. ONCE. And I made this delicious omfg so good gravy. For a week or two afterward, I was practically drinking the gravy and dipping everything into it (toast, leftover stuffing, turkey, whatever) and one morning, I had the sad remains in the pot on the stove, went to take a shower and when I came out, BF had dumped it all in the garbage and was washing the pot. I cried. I almost beat him to death but instead went in the room, took a few deep breaths, then told him I was still eating that, which he told me - quote - was disgusting. He thought I'd left it on the stove for a week (no... I'd been refrigerating it, of course). SIGH. I still sigh when I think about that last bit wasted.
*hugs*

The Spiteful Chef September 16, 2008 at 10:29 AM  

I will admit to being slightly disappointed when I saw the word "spiteful" and then read your blog to find out it wasn't an entire blog dedicated to how awesome I am. Especially since I just made ribs. And I'm your boyfriend and all.

When my man-o-choice does something stupid like throw away my food before I'm done eating it/using it (which he often does) I poke out my lower lip and martyr myself with things like "I suppose you're right. Eating my dinner would have just made me fatter. Thank you for helping me stop eating." At that point he usually has a look of abject horror on his face, trying desperately to figure out what he did or said to evoke such a response, and how much trouble he's likely to be in over the long run. I sigh meaningfully, try to get my stomach to rumble audibly, and make wistful smiles until he gives me a long speech about my hotness and then brings me dessert. I'm just sayin', it works well.

Mrs. L September 16, 2008 at 1:17 PM  

Okay, I want that Bento for my lunch, everything looks wonderful!

Julie September 16, 2008 at 7:57 PM  

Gee, I didn't know you felt so strongly about it. Don't you know you're invited over for anything we have on any day? Although on that particular day you would have had to fight the girl for it, but I think you could take her.

Anonymous March 8, 2009 at 7:56 PM  
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